Pokemon Dash: A Poke-Parody (rating PG-PG13)

Pokemon Dash: A Poke-Parody

Chapter1: Room mates

Narrator: Pokemon seem to be cute, cuddly, and sweet, but that’s just a big fat lie. Pokemon are… well… you’ll just see for yourself.

(Location: Pikachu and Psyduck’s house)

(Pikachu walks in with the mail)

Pikachu: Bills… bills… bills… bills… you could win a million dollars… bills… bills… bi-

(Pikachu grabs a gold envelope that says “Win the race of a life time”. He opens it up and reads it aloud)

Pikachu: You can win ninety billion dollars. All you have to do is win the first ever Pokemon Dash competition. All you have to do is race your fellow pokemon.

Psyduck: Don’t enter!

(Pikachu looks to see Psyduck entering the room holding his head)

Pikachu: Why?

Psyduck: because it’s a scam.

Pikachu: I’m still entering!

Psyduck: Not so loud. I have the biggest freaking hang over.

Pikachu: You have these all the time.

Psyduck: I want to get rid of them.

Pikachu: Here’s a hint… PUT DOWN THE BEER!

(Psyduck looks at the Beer in his hand. He flips Pikachu the bird)

Pikachu: You can kiss my sparky yellow ***!

Psyduck: Come on I’m a water pokemon. That will kill me!

Pikachu: Yes and your point is?

Psyduck: Screw you!

Pikachu: Are you coming on to me? I don’t swing that way!

Psyduck: I’m out of here!

Pikachu: Not with my car!

Psyduck: It’s not your car.

Pikachu: With ten more payments it is.

Psyduck: Then how am I supposed to go to work?

Pikachu: You don’t work!

Psyduck: Well how am I supposed to get to the beach?

Pikachu: Don’t know, don’t care!

(Psyduck flips him the bird again. He walks out)

Pikachu: That’s it. I’m entering the race!

Chapter 2: Sign up

(Location: racing signup building)

(Pikachu is waiting in a line to sign up)

Psyduck: Don’t slouch! Eyes forward! Tail strait!

(Pikachu turns to Psyduck who had walked in)

Pikachu: What are you doing?

Psyduck: I am your coach.

Pikachu: Why?

Psyduck: Because I need something to do. Anyway let’s see your competition.

(Psyduck looks around)

Psyduck: That’s Meowth. He’s got cat-like reflexes.

(Pikachu looks at Psyduck)

Pikachu: Maybe it has to do with the fact that he’s a cat!

Psyduck: Maybe.

(Pikachu sighs)

Psyduck: That’s Teddyursa! He can get anything he wants out of anyone.

Guy: I’m sorry I can’t let you compete.

(Teddyursa does an adorable sad face)

Guy: Oh alright!

Teddyursa: Sucker.

Guy: What?

Teddyursa: Nothing.

Guy: Okay.

Teddyursa: Loser.

(Psyduck continues looking around)

Psyduck: Over there is Charmander and Bulbasaur.

(Charmander takes a weed off of Bulbasaur and starts to light it. The guy walks over)

Guy: I’m sorry but no smoking I in the building.

Charmander: F*** you asshole!

Pikachu: Wow, he’s aggressive.

Psyduck: Wait until he evolves.

(Psyduck continues looking around)

Psyduck: Over there is Jynx and Ditto.

(Ditto turns into Jynx)

Jynx: I don’t look like that.

Ditto: I don’t look like that.

Jynx: Stop mocking me!

Ditto: Stop mocking me!

Jynx: If you don’t stop mimicking me I will beat you to a bloody pulp!

Ditto: If you don’t stop mimicking me I will beat you to a bloody pulp!

Jynx: That’s it!

Ditto: That-

(Jynx tackles ditto to the ground)

Guy: Next!

(Pikachu and Psyduck walk up to the desk)

Guy: Which one is entering?

Pikachu: Me.

Guy: Okay, you are in.

Psyduck: Yes I knew this was a good idea.

Pikachu: Really?! Let me read chapter one.

Psyduck: Okay, maybe not. But we do have a chance now that you are in; and to celebrate drinks on me. Can I borrow some money?

Pikachu: No.

Psyduck: Not fair.

Pikachu: It’s not fair that I give you money that I worked hard for to buy beers that only you will drink?

Psyduck: No it’s not.

Pikachu: That’s it, tomorrow we are going to sober you up.

Psyduck: What’s in it for me?

Pikachu: Then you can be my coach.

Psyduck: Then what?

Pikachu: Then we will split the money 60:40.

Psyduck: No, 80:20.

Pikachu: Okay, it’s a deal.

(They shake hands)

Pikachu: And you do realize that you get the smaller half right?

Psyduck: Ah sh-

lol very good. I like the fact you put the rating on the forum I can let you keep this up i think its very funny

neotev wrote:lol very good. I like the fact you put the rating on the forum I can let you keep this up i think its very funny

thank you

btw congrats on getting ahead of me in post count again...

Chapter 3: Psyduck’s rehabilitation

(Location: Psyduck and Pikachu’s house)

(Pikachu is pouring beer down the sink while Psyduck is strapped to a chair watching)

Psyduck: It’s bad enough that you are doing this but why must I watch?

Pikachu: It’s part of your intervention.

Psyduck: God bless you.

Pikachu: Intervention is when you make someone stop something that is holding them back.

Psyduck: It’s not holding me back, these restraints are. Can’t you loosen them a little?

Pikachu: We tried that, you can’t be trusted.

Psyduck: So when will this be over?

Pikachu: When you learn that there are more important things then alcohol.

Psyduck: What is there that can possibly be more important that alcohol?

Pikachu: Being my coach.

(Pikachu finishes pouring the last bottle down the sink)

Pikachu: Now I enrolled you into alcoholics anonymous. I want you to make a good first impression.

(Location: AA meeting)

(There is a group of people sitting in front of a podium. Psyduck walks up with a bottle of beer in his hand)

Psyduck: I’m Psyduck and- hic- I’m an- hic- alcohol- hic. Oh god, I am so freaking wasted right now.

(Location: Street)

(Psyduck and Pikachu are walking)

Pikachu: And they threw you out then?

Psyduck: No, then the police arrived.

Pikachu: I need to get you away from that stuff!

(Time: Two days later)

(Pikachu walks into Psyduck’s room)

Pikachu: Congratulations you haven’t touched a beer for three days.

Psyduck: That’s because I am the greatest.

Clock: Cooko.

(A beer falls out of the clock)

Psyduck: That was put there by magic.

Clock: Cooko.

Psyduck: And Pixies.

Clock: Cooko.

Psyduck: And I think there is a troll involved.

Pikachu: Exactly how many beers did you drink?

Psyduck: Open my closet.

(Pikachu opens the closet and beer bottles pour out)

Psyduck: I can’t help it; I’m-

Clock: Cooko.

Psyduck: For beer.

Pikachu: I am going to rid this house of every beer.

(Psyduck takes out a beer)

Psyduck: Don’t say that!

Pikachu: Don’t do anything you might regret!

Psyduck: Oh I’ll do it!

(Psyduck hold the beer up to his mouth)

Pikachu: Then you have let me down.

(Psyduck throws the beer onto the floor)

Pikachu: Holy crap! You just gave up a beer. Why?

Psyduck: Because, I can’t let you down. We will start training tomorrow at 8:00.

Pikachu: Am or Pm?

Psyduck: Whatever I am awake for.